Strange Advice I Have Heard From Ringside

Having gone to many horse shows over the years, I thought it almost funny, sometimes, to hear what advice gets hollered at young riders in a warm up ring. Now, I am sure the yeller knew the horse and rider team, and knew their secrets to become, hopefully, more appealing to the judges' eyes. Perhaps it was a parent, a coach, or even an enemy loudly speaking their advice...I don't know.
But what I heard were things like:
"Kick him harder!"
"Stick your butt out!"
"Get your hands further apart!"
"Stand up in your stirrups!"
"Don't let him put his head down!"
"Look around you, other kids are doing it with no problem...why can't you? See? They're not afraid!"

My interpretation of this advice as it relates to sound horsemanship is that, well, it just ain't right. Something is missing here, and it goes back to basic riding skills, and building confidence in those skills.

You shouldn't have to kick a horse at all, let alone 'harder.' The subtle leg cues gently squeeze the horse forward. There is nothing subtle about kicking anything.

Why would anyone want to hollow their back unnaturally and stick their butt out? This is, of course, common during the two point position/hunter classes...but why? It's not ergonomically correct...do they think it looks pretty or something? It has nothing to do with riding skills, except your back will get sore and your balanced seat is compromised big time.

Hands further apart...okay, maybe this kid was riding wrist to wrist, but I doubt it. A lot of times when I see people wanting their horse to lower his head at a walk, they bring their hands apart and even lower them. But where in any horsemanship manual has it been suggested that the hands can be placed incorrectly in dressage or equitation? So why even teach the horse this as a cue in the first place?

Stand up in your stirrups for a two jumping position? I don't think so. You need to learn to be balanced enough to get into a half seat without your stirrups, or you are going to see the jump poles really, really up close and personal, every time your horse refuses.

The don't-let-him-put-his-head-down advise usually comes from parents who think that if the head is down, that means the horse can/will buck. This might be true, to some extent, of some horses...but if the horse has a tendency to buck, what is it doing competing at a show with a young rider? Shouldn't it be with a trainer or seen by a vet? Bucking generally means the horse is not well trained, or is in pain.

These bits of advice hollered from the ringside to the young riders merely made me sigh. But that last quote really made me clench my jaw tight.
That parent/instructor, whoever she was, belittled the child, stripped her of any confidence and hope, reduced her to tears, made her believe that everyone else was better than her. The little girl then dismounted and flatly refused to enter the green broke pony in the jumping competition.
If the child had fears, so be it, they will be overcome with time, and growth of trust in her pony. What was the rush, after all? Isn't safety more important than a chance for a ribbon to hang on a wall?
The parent then jumped the green pony over the course, instead of the child riding it. The pony was clearly very strong, fast and unbalanced, as very green jumpers tend to be, and even she had trouble, with more than triple her daughter's weight and strength. (It looked, to me, like the pony had never seen a whole, entire jump course before.) Yet, she took the pony back to the child and said, "See? It was so easy."

If people would just think, and learn, and rationalize before giving advice, there would be a whole lot less silly remarks for me to get annoyed with at horse shows!